It's been a long road back to the point that I am at now and the echo's of 'oh yeah we'll believe it when we see it' is loud and strong within my head. The best part of the realisations of recent is that it has nothing to do with my mind. I mean it is about getting out of the mind and not listening to the crap that it continues to inform me of. Now more than ever it is about a feeling, a knowing that this moment is the right moment and although there is still much fighting within, it must be time.
It would seem that the planets are aligning and that this spring equinox is a powerful time for manifestation and transition into divine energy. My family and I attended an amazing festival yesterday and participated in a beautiful ceremony to celebrate the masculine and feminine. The wonderful thing about it is that the kids had such a good time even though there were no jumping castles, no children's play things, just lots of connecting at the heart level. It was a festive atmosphere everyone there sharing the one vision of love and appreciation for life itself. I was even getting into it and feeling quite emotional as we forgave each other and loving the male and the female archetype for exactly who they are. I could sense the amazing energy in the room, the power of togetherness and intent it was almost overwhelming. We left soon after to get food for the kids and go home to put everyone to bed and then it happened. Something took over me and I could feel my anger building. I could feel the emotions of 'I am not good enough' welling up inside me and a dark shadow side of me emerged.
This emergence lead to an evening of self hate and destruction that effected everyone in the house. Although I am sorry for allowing this side of me to emerge in such a destructive way, and that I am sorry to my family for putting them through the pain, I am interested in why and how so that I can transcend this shadow side. It is time for me to live my truth in full energy, in full power unlike I have done before. To be true to my very nature and follow the path that is desperately calling to me.
Part of me imagines that there is a dark side that appears every time that I get close to living my truth just to try and stop me. Now maybe this is true regardless if it is an external being or just my shadow psyche. Either way it needs to be transcended and let go of. So I sit here and write this in the hope that it will help me to clear this energy and move back into the amazing free and empowering space I have been in the last few days. To remember that this is the place of creation and how Dimensional Energetics will be born into the world again, or for the first time in it's total and complete truth.
I am looking forward to sharing this new emergence with past and new supporters and with those that have assisted me to get here. And as I journey into this space again I ask that you look at me with compassion and love. There is no requirement for you to believe me or have faith that it can be done in a more real and truthful way, just keep reading and never give up for this journey is bigger than all of us, all of our earthly egoic minds. This is not a journey of the mind but rather a journey of the soul.
Thank you Steph and the kids for all your love and support I will get there I promise you i will not give up on myself. Is it back? I truly hope so, it feels right and ready as long as I continue to let go of the fear and not play in that dark space of not feeling worth it......
Thanks for reading and I look forward to giving you updates and channellings as we move through this journey back home together.
Love Marcus
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